Husband and wife conversation through sms
Husband (in office): “Hello Dear, what are you doing?”
Wife (at home): “I am dying…!”
Husband jumps with happiness but types: “Oh no! My darling, how can I live without you?”
Wife: “You idiot! I am dying my hair”
Husband: “Damn English Language”
The patrol police stopped a man driving a car erratically, around 3 AM and asked where he was going at this late hour.
The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body and social relations”.
The officer then asks, “Really? Who on earth is giving such a lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies simply, “My wife.”